Crime Prevention Advice

Here’s some crime prevention advice from Santa, the big fat reverse burglar

‘Twas the night before Christmas, when all through the house

Not a creature was stirring, not even a mouse.

The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,

Hoping in the morning, they will still be there.

The children were nestled all snug in their beds,

While visions of sugar-plums danced in their heads.

Mother and Father have just finished Strictly,

Avoiding the in laws, ever so slickly.

Taking phones to bed and asking online,

“Are we safe and sound this Christmas time?

Have we fully charged the Ring Door bell?”

Remembering other brands are available as well.

When out on the lawn there arose such a clatter,

Dad sprang from the bed to see what’s the matter.

“There’s somebody skulking, who’s after our presents,

To sell down the local where he oft frequents!”

Villains and scallywags and ne’er do wells

Suspects and scamps and the worst scoundrels

All covet your stuff, your lush looking goodies

They’ll steal them away, under cover of hoodies

Home security is never a joke

It keeps at bay that rough looking bloke.

A motion light or neatly trimmed hedge

Keeps villains from nicking your hard earned wedge

So keep in mind when looking for presents

Our teams will be walking, a positive presence.

They’re working all hours, a hell of a job

Hopefully snuffling a chocolate hobnob.

So if you know a rascal, call upon the Met

Or call Crimestoppers to keep your secret.

In custody this Christmas they will then dine

On an old chicken madras from 2009*

*All custody meals served are in date. 2009 just rhymes!